POEM: So you can hear me scream

(27 Dec 2010)

here I am, again in that post traumatic funk,
the junk makes you feel, tired, sad, bitter, and cold.

here I am, again in that quite solitary bunk,
and as that punk had hit your gut, just at the time
                            that something you had taken from then.

now cold, bitter, sad, and tiring of what life became,
yah know, that same junk that, again lead to this post traumatic state.

I am here, in this place I never wanted to be, never, wanted-
because seeing what is seen making the memories painful and cold.

I am here, for the second time, because that one that loved,
shoved away into another arm, arms, seemingly hitting right in the gut,
                            right in the gut… even now echoing the blow.

it is sad, cold, and wanting anything other than a post traumatic scream,
in this stream of ideas, disjointed and metaphorically haphazardly
                            and specifically placed here.

you are there, just to listen to this gut ripping pain, that brings here,
the stain on my heart, mind, body.  All signed, sealed
                            and delivered by someone else.

you are not there, to hear the scream howl through the ether,
in this world we could not be friends, even like now, here, reality.

this form
            I break, the reality I refute, this scream is here, and now.
            proudly loudly I will wear the purity of this mind and spirit.

so, as I break from this form,
            i hope that you see that we need to try,
            try and see the beauty we both saw in the
                                       rays of the morning light.
                                     
my love, for we were complete, and I believed signed, sealed,
                                       and never lost.
it has always seemed thrown away,

            seen as an evil ploy of a seemingly desperate soul.

all I can say, my love, is that I did and do, completely.

                                            - klaus andrews