POEM: i, really, do...

(30 Dec 2008)

i really miss your smiling voice, loving heart, that calming force
    you exert into my being.
i really miss your touch, that lip that lingers in our kiss, that leg,
    i caress as i ponder my next steps -

i really missed the chance to see that love blossom and to exist
    within our bliss, the kind of love one collapses tired from joy,
    safely into my open arms.
i really wanted more, can and do see more, can and willing to be more,
    the one that we could be, could be more, all the while wishing
    and wondering what it could have been, what it was, and what we

                                            now stand apart from

i really want to reverse time, it is wrong to want stop, go back,
    and see that smile, that smile, i made on your face.
i really want go back make the earth stand still
    regain what we had, and bring and exist again in legendary beginnings.

i really miss the moments, the hours, and the movies that we watched,
    discussed, and dissected -
i really miss the possibilities, the hopes for us, and for yours,
    and for our love to grow, cut short in this silence.

i really stood, straight, and honest, and completely pure
    with my hopes for us,
i really stood below the bean and knew then, that i was,
    open armed, waiting, willing, and wanting.

i really love her, the great love i never thought i would- 
    could see again, despite those efforts of others,
    the others that need to enrich their own souls.
i really love her, this great love that exists so rarely, and so purely,
    so completely through my soul, body, and mind.
    
i really write this to tell that tell here,
    for all must know of all the things we are, we were,
    what we could still be - like a howling cry into night,
    
                                            the dark, the abyss of the ether.

i really write this because i must, i can, and i will try and save
    the second great love, a love that i wish, wished, and want for her,
    to have, to hold, to exist within, only to finally collapse from joy
    into my arms - leaving the fear, the fright...

for i really love her... 

                                            - klaus andrews